Wasted time

And I could have done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind from wonderin' what
I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time

- The Eagles "Wasted Time"

So yeah, I'm wondering if the last 18 years or so have just been wasted. Was I meant to be doing something amazing and instead I've only been doing the mundane?

I should be able to look back on this time and see that there was something significant to it. There was a marriage and there were two extraordinary children. In that respect I know that it wasn't all necessarily wasted. It was just different from what I expected.

Where do we get our expectations for our lives? Do they come from our parents? Do we create them ourselves? Do we look around at our contemporaries and think, "Damn, I should be doing something like that!"

I have friends with careers and I have friends that are at home moms. Some of the career women want to stay home and be moms and some of the moms want careers. Are we ever truly just satisfied with what we have? Do my friends with careers worry that they've wasted time by being at work while the kids are growing? I already know that several of the "career" moms fear that they've missed out on the best of their career years by being at home with their children, although almost all agree that they wouldn't trade that time for anything.

I've discovered that I want something more from my life that what I have right now. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It doesn't make what I have not fulfilling. It just means I have more room in my heart to be filled.