God only knows....

Yes, I believe in God. It would be impossible to look at the absolute perfection of my children and not believe that a higher power had something to do with getting them here. Of course, their perfection is seen through their mother's eyes and can frequently be called into question when, say for instance, one of them is in a fit throwing frenzy.

I remember having them handed over to me at the hospital and studying them carefully. Even through the morphine induced haze I was aware that I had assisted God in the creation of a tiny miracle. Yes, the striking blue eyes and tiny fingers and toes had grown within me, but I was only a part of that great wonder. And certainly my daughter looks like her father and my son more like me so you know that genetics were at play, yet it still doesn't explain the complex miracle that is a new life.

I'm thinking of this now because a baby died yesterday. He was only a few months old and his potential wholly unrealized. I'm sure that other babies died yesterday, but this one belonged to a friend of mine. I wept this morning not only for her family's loss, but for the loss to this world. Sure, he may have been known to only his family and friends, but I believe that every person put on this earth has an impact somehow, maybe not globally or even locally, but within the circle of their world they make their mark on the lives around them. We will never get a chance to know what baby Kris' impact might have been. Perhaps it was just to spend the few months he did with his parents and siblings to let them know love and how precious life is.

So today I will hug my children a little tighter and tonight when I lay down I will pray just a little harder for their continued good health and safety all the time knowing that God has a plan for them that only he knows. I can't change it or will it to be different but I can have faith that they have long and successful lives before them.